Wall Street Tycoon Shattered by OWS

NEW YORK, NY-- Wall Street tycoon and hedge fund manager Charles Towers cries himself to sleep every night, distraught over the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations.

"I"m not sure I can go on... It's just too much. All these unwashed college kids don't like me! Maybe I'll quit my lucrative job and join the demonstrators so they'll like me," Towers said.

When told about Towers, protestor Steven Richards said that he shouldn't take it so hard. "I'm really just here for the chicks and the Woodstock-like atmosphere."

Towers, who made $480 million dollars last year, said the protestors have inspired him to cut his bonus next year from $23 million to $22.95 million.