Solution to Entitlement Crisis Proposed

WASHINGTON D.C. -- Unsustainable entitlement programs like Medicare and Social Security take up an increasing portion of the U.S. budget, so President Obama and Democrat lawmakers this year have proposed a surprising solution: add another entitlement program.

"We feel that the best way to deal with spiraling Medicare costs is to provide health care for everybody," said an aide to one Democrat senator. "Economies of scale have worked out so well with Medicare that we should extend it to the entire populace. We're thinking of naming the new program Too Many Doctors since 40% of physicians say they would consider leaving the profession if the bill passes."