Young Obama found the keys to the car and the liquor cabinet ajar and went on a wild 18-month D.C.-style spring break before voters came back home and voted in a new Congress to babysit him.
"I had no idea he would go that crazy," said an aunt, "he looks so calm and self-possessed. Never thought he had a wild hair like that."
"I admit I probably got a bit carried away," said Obama upon looking at the wreckage he'd wrought. "But I'm betting history will look back at the wild spending debauch as necessary for saving the economy."
Mr. Obama left the house in shambles, full of smashed beer cans, wild spending parties. He maxed out credit cards and took out loans his parents can't afford to pay back.