Liberals Least Likely to Know They're Liberals

BOSTON, MA-- The affliction of being liberal without knowing you are liberal is an increasingly common pheonomenon.

"Anosognosia," as it is known to social scientists, is endemic among liberals, most of whom insist that they "are in the mainstream."

Anosognosia may be the best explanation yet for the phenomenon of Blue Dogs, who keep voting with the Democratic leadership when it counts, but insist they’re not like those “other” Democrats.

(Credit to John Derbyshire in NRO)

McCain Thanks Supporters for Nomination

Saying it was "an honor just to be nominated," Sen. John McCain today thanked those who supported him in his 2008 bid to become president.

"I can't thank the Republican voters enough for nominating me for President. That was my goal all along, to capture the Republican flag. It's like how some major league baseball teams care more about winning the pennant than the World Series. Just to be on the big stage is excitement enough."

Political pundits from left and right said that sounded about right.

"He really mailed in the general campaign didn't he? Other than the surprise pick of Palin, the campaign was mostly moribund. You can tell from the debates that he was satisfied with the nomination. Now, unfortunately, the country is paying the price."

Local Man Can't Commit to Vacation Day

A Sundersville man with self-ascribed "commitment issues," says he can't decide whether to ask off for July 6th.

"I don't know if I'll be in the mood for vacation then," he said to this reporter. "Plus what if the weather's bad?"

Social scientist Bob Griese says this is where commitment-phobic tendencies end up.

"They think there's never the perfect day for their vacation day. Sad."

One Slick Metaphor

Polls show the BP oil spill is leading all contenders for the top metaphor of Obama's presidency.

"It's a gusher, like the President's budget," said one congressional aide.

"Like the spill, his promises are full of oil, in his case snake oil."