Thursday, April 12, 2007


Passages: Predictable Crises of a Bush Hater's Life

You, or a loved one, might be experiencing BMMIS (Bush Made Me Insane Syndrome). Fortunately the symptoms will lessen as we near '08 and his term is over, but here is a list of warning signs in order to discern the level of illness:

Stage 1 - patient expresses annoyance. Reports feelings such as "he talks funny" or "he can't even pronounce the word 'nuclear'".

Stage 2 - declares intense dislike. "He was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple". "Too upfront about his religion." "He is so unsophisticated; the Europeans are laughing at us."

Stage 3 - patient expresses a hatred that begins to cloud his judgment. Has bumper sticker on car that says "I Didn't Vote for the War Profiteer". Routinely calls the President a "liar".

Stage 4 - Sometimes referred to as the Cindy Sheehan Stage, hatred builds in proportion to lack of success in converting all Americans to his point-of-view. Sees logic in the 9/11 attacks saying "maybe we deserved it". Feels sympathy for Saddam Hussein and considers Bush a worse evil. As the patient edges towards stage 5, may begin to ascribe random meterological events to W.

Stage 5 - Patient has lost reason and rationality. Bush is responsible for global warming, Katrina, bird flu, steroids, spam, scientology, eschatology, Fox News and Rupert Murdoch. Some patients at Stage 5+ feel eternal life would be possible but for the Bush tax cuts.

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