Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Is the Outrage Real....?

[Regarding this.]

Cell phone conversation between two Rutgers women baskeball players. 1:32PM:

Player 1: "Didja hear what some talk show host said about us? Said we were 'nappy-headed hos'. Ain't that fly?"

Player 2: "Way! We're, like, the Pistons of Jersey! Maybe Coach'll let us change our name to "the Rutger Hos". I'm gonna call Skygirl and let her know we're fay-moose."

1:35PM:

Player 2: "Skygirl! Didja hear ? Some talk show host I never heard of gave us some publicity today."

Skygirl: "I heard. That ol' white fool cracks me up. Tryin' to be hip-hop or somethin'. Too funny, like watching white guys dance."

2:55pm: Coach begins making calls to players:

Coach to Player 1: "We're going to have an emergency meeting at 7 tonight concerning the comments of Don Imus. I'll fill you in then."

7:04pm: Coach begins talking to assembled team:

Coach: "Like you, I'm outraged by the comments of Don Imus today. If you don't know by now, Imus is a white, racist talk show host who called us 'hos' on his syndicated radio show and simulcast MSNBC television show. This won't stand ladies. I talked to Jesse, I talked to Al, I talked to the NAACP, and we're going to make this right. We're going to have a press conference tomorrow and I want everybody in full warm-ups. Cover those arms girls. I want you cleaned up like you were going to your aunt's funeral. I want every tatt that can be hidden, hidden. I want you to look like you've just been crushed by the greatest defeat of your life." [Player raises hand.] Yes Deiondre?"

Deiondre: "If we look like we've been crushed, won't we look like wimps? 'Cuz I think it's pretty funny. I've been trashed-talked worse in practice."

Coach: "I know, I'd think it's funny too - IF it came from a brother. But this ain't about you Deiondre. This is bigger than you and bigger than me and bigger than basketball and bigger than Rutgers. This is more important than any game you've ever played. We're going to milk it, but we're doing it for our people. We are Rosa Parks and we're going to make Don Imus pay. He's the busdriver who made you sit in the back. He's the slaveowner who whipped you. He's the sherriff who lynched you. Now we're going to lynch Imus. We're going to get him fired and have him lose his livelihood just as our slave ancestors lost theirs. And we got a lynch mob to help us - I've got speechwriters from Al Sharpton's posse who'll be giving us talking points for the press conference. No deviations from the script. Tear up if you can - it's about sympathy girls. Remember: you're not angry - you're sad. I've invited Austin Breuler of the Rutger's theatrical troupe to go over the emotions we'll want to portray. Austin?"

2 comments:

c.ecker said...

Extremely funny! Al, Jesse and the NAACP are going to be gunnin' for you now TS. Hope you've got poop proof body armour ...

TS said...

Ha, yep I better order some of that there armour. I suppose I crossed a line with that post, but I just can't see these college girls as innocent as portrayed in the media. After all, they're the ones buying the rap (black and white girls). See this commentary.