Thursday, June 7, 2007

The Arab Abu Ghraib

BAGHDAD, IRAQ--Thirteen Al Qaeda officers were fired yesterday and face charges for insufficiently cruel treatment offered at the Ala Allah camp, referred to by some as the "Arab Abu Ghraib".

Evidence provided by Al Qaeda show that many were being murdered without the customary preliminary torture.

After abuses at Abu Ghraib led to eleven Americans being charged, intense pressure from the Baghdad Times and the spotlight of an Iranian film led Al Qaeda to charge thirteen Al Qaeda operatives with failure to properly torture prisoners before killing them.

Yesterday a spokesmen said, "We fired these men because they had gotten soft. Many of the swine who were beheaded were allowed a last meal and others forced to convert to holy Islam. We're outraged at such kind treatment of the infidel."

The lack of abuses at Ala Allah was uncovered by Iranian filmmaker Mohammed Ishalmi, who produced a documentary detailing the friendly conditions at the infamous camp and caused shockwaves of outrage throughout the Islamic fascist world leading to the dismissal of the thirteen.

Inspired by this transcript of Dennis Miller on O'Reilly's show:

MILLER: [Rory Kennedy] said today on the radio, she said we have to open the lines of communication with the terrorists...To me the left is like Margaret Dumond, the old Groucho Marx films used to be, vis-à-vis terrorism? It's like, "Oh, I never!" You know, and at some point we got to go out and we've just got to engage these people...

[So] I said to her, "Look, 11 guys from Abu Ghraib up the chain. Not all the way." She wants Bush put in prison. But 11 guys were found guilty. I mean, we do the right thing when we find out we make a mistake.

Do you think there's going to be in 11 guys in Al Qaeda who are going to get reprimanded for not handling prisoners properly? I mean, you know?

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