Monday, January 14, 2008

New Study Shows Studies Shorten Lifespans

CAMBRIDGE, MA-- A new study suggests that reading too many studies is bad for your health.

"There seems to be pretty good evidence at this point that if you spend a lot of time worrying about what the latest study says your health will suffer," said Dr. Ben Dover, a researcher with the Presbyterian Medical Center in Albuquerque.

The results came from 10 different studies that monitored close to 250,000 people.

The researchers found that people who read health studies concerning diet, exercise and alcohol usage were 41 percent more likely to suffer from diabetes, influenza, heart attack, halitosis, anxiety, and black lung disease.

Dr. Dover warns that while the news is negative for survey readers, they should definitely pay attention to this one.

"My grandfather ate and drank whatever he wanted and lived to be 95. Most of these studies are balderdash anyway. Except this one."

2 comments:

William Luse said...

I think I could put up with any of those afflictions except halitosis.

So I have to read the study in order to prove to myself that I shouldn't read studies. But what if I get a fatal disease from reading the study? You know, one study too far, or something.

One thing I've always wondered about: who studies the studiers? And is it good for the study studiers, or bad? Maybe they all died before they could present their findings. Hope some of them left their bodies to science so that students could study them.

TS said...

Actually, I have heard those researching cancer are more likely to get cancer. You are what you think?...I think I'll have a beer. :-)