A new revised American bible translation is in the works, intended for a specifically American audience.
The publishers released a sample concerning the passage "Blesed are the poor...".
In this new translation the verse goes: "Blessed are the struggling middle class of the wealthiest nation in history. Blessed are ye who have been squeezed and who can't afford a 2500-sq foot home."
Others, via Ham o' Bone:
"Blessed are the house flippers, for they will be bailed out.."
"Blessed are the sick who haven't saved a penny towards their inevitable health decline for they shall use their "Boom"ing strength to give themselves Universal Health Care."