Friday, September 26, 2008

No Relief Expected for Baby Williams

PERORIA, IL--The execution of the unborn child of Sarah Williams is scheduled to take place at 12:01PM Tuesday at an abortion clinic outside Peroria. No media is expected to be present, nor protestors. The governor has no power to intervene and clemency can only come from the mother of the child.

Public Relations expert Thomas Richards suggests that the baby lacks the skills needed in a media age. "The baby needs to be more visible. A strong personality helps, one that has won friends." When told that it's impossible for an unborn baby to go on Oprah or to have "won friends" Richards replied, "well it's really difficult if the client doesn't have a strong cadre of supporters, of those who could mentally put themselves in his place and feel the unjustness of the execution."

Inexplicably, Hollywood actors have not rallied to the baby's cause despite nearly universal acknowledgement that "Rookie" Williams has done nothing wrong. The child would've been six months in the womb on Tuesday.

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