Monday, November 24, 2008

Iran's Ahmadinejad Concedes Election

Columbus, OH (PiT) -- Although elections in Iran aren't scheduled to take place until June 12th, 2009, the current President of Iran is already conceding the election, even without his opponents officially on the ballot.

"With oil prices at $140 a barrel, I bought all the popularity I needed," says Ahmadinejad addressing the Iranian people on Iran's state TV. "Now our Zionist Enemies and their Western Power have destroyed my political platform by reducing oil prices to under $50 per barrel."

With 70% of the Iranian Government's budget funded by Oil Exports, the 60% drop in the price of oil has severely curtailed Iranian Government income. This leaves little money for desperately needed infrastructure, and even less for the Iran's burgeoning defense budget or Ahmadinejad's popularity purchases.

"So, it is with a heavy heart that I concede defeat this next election cycle. May your next President serve you as well as I have."

While they look at a ballooning Gov't deficit in a nation rich with oil wealth, staring down the barrel of an Israeli Air Force ready to strike at their nuclear program, all Iranians are hoping the next President serves them much much better. - CE

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