"Personal Reasons" Defined

From the Slang Guide to Political Meanings:

Personal reasons -- a phrase often used to explain the withdrawal from consideration for appointment or as a candidate in a campaign. Typically means "stuff I hadn't thought was going to come out". (That is, for those possessing a modicum of shame, unlike Timothy Geither.)

Example:

Usage: "I am withdrawing for personal reasons."
Meaning: "I am withdrawing because I embezzled funds, worked briefly as a Nigerian scammer, cheated on my taxes despite supporting tax hikes, and frequented prostitutes."

In the latest demonstration of the use of the phrase personal reasons, the NY Times seems to have failed to recognize the all-encompassing nature of the personal:

"Problems involving taxes and a household employee surfaced during the vetting of Caroline Kennedy and derailed her candidacy for the Senate, a person close to Gov. David A. Paterson said on Thursday, in an account at odds with Ms. Kennedy’s own description of her reasons for withdrawing."

We here at the Slang Guide are confused. How could the explanation of the person close to Gov. Paterson be considered "at odds" with Caroline Kennedy's? We hope the NY Times will understand the extremely personal nature of having tax and household employee problems.

Dogs Won't Bite Under Obama Administration

PARIS, FRANCE-- Former president George Bush was blamed for a recent dog bite perpetrated upon ex-French president Jacques Chirac by what was obviously a Republican dog.

Sumo, a French poodle, is being given anti-depression medication.

"Vee feel that all physical, moral, emotional, and intellectual evils can be ultimately placed at the feet of zee American neo-cons," said Chirac through a statesman. "Our beloved poodle was likely depressed about the success of the surge in Iraq, or reacting to global warming brought on by the failure of America to sign the Kyoto protocols."

Nancy Pelosi and Democratic Sleight of Hand

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tried that desperate democratic trick of misdirection in an interview on Fox News Sunday. When asked about whether she favored looking into unlawful actions of members of the Bush Administration after they left office, she responded she might be in favor of investigating them.

Never mind the fact that her son, Paul Pelosi, Jr. was employed by and received loans from Countrywide while Nancy Pelosi was a Congresswoman.

It turns out that many Democrats in Congress received 'VIP' loans from Countrywide while they were collectively supporting various legislation to encourage sub-prime mortgages.

Now that's something I'd like to see investigated! -CE