WASHINGTON D.C.-- A new lobby group with a suprisingly frank name is making its way around K street: "Catholics for Anti-Catholic Policies" or CACP.
A spokesperson at a press conference said yesterday that they intend to "promote policies inimical to Catholic Church teaching" while in the background the chant "keep your rosary off my hosiery" began, presumably referring to church teaching on sexual sin.
The group's mission statement, found on their website, says:
Catholics for Anti-Catholic Policies (CACP), with more than three thousand members and supporters, is already the largest Catholic anti-Catholic organization in the world.When asked how it was that they could call themselves Catholic, the spokesperson said that they intended to reform the Church from within, adding "who died and left the Pope in charge?"
CACP focuses its attention on areas of public policy that the Church has spoken definitively on, in order to correct it in love. Specifically, we are pro-abortion except in cases where the mother really, really wants the child and lives in a country without overpopulation problems. We are for embryonic stem cell research, as well as for marital rights being extended to homosexuals, trisexuals, unisexuals, polygamists, trigamists -- in other words, any group ending in "ist" or "ual". We are also for human cloning, especially the cloning of progressives. We assert that the church is wrong on euthanasia and ought speak out more forcefully for suppression of hate speech, i.e. conservative talk radio.