New Beer Won't Satisfy the Censors

BrewDog Brewery first came under fire for the creation of a limited availability high alcohol content beer named Tokyo. It was almost 18.2% alcohol by volume, or 36 proof in U.S. terms. Beer usually runs between 4% and 6% alcohol by volume. Using the old "people don't kill people, guns kill people" argument, critics called BrewDog irresponsible for selling their Tokyo beer to people who may or may not have a drinking problem.

Well, not being one to ignore fanatics, BrewDog founder James Watt and Company created a low alcohol beer which they were sure would find approval with their critics. Nanny State Brew^TM contains only 1.1% alcohol by volume. Critics still found fault: Jack Law, chief executive of Alcohol Focus Scotland, says "The name of the beer proves that once again this company is failing to acknowledge the seriousness of the alcohol problem facing Scotland."

Say It Again Joe?

Representative Joe Wilson stood and shouted "LIAR" at Mahmoud Ahmadinejad during Ahmadinejad's speech at the United Nations Wednesday evening as Ahmadinejad was chastising Western powers for "despicable forms of intimidation".

The outburst woke many napping diplomats, all of whom expressed disapproval for the sleep interruption. There are plans to call for Wilson to be sanctioned.

Quatar's representative said, "Joe Wilson ought never be allowed to set foot on United Nations ground again. Megalomaniac leaders intent on the destruction of countries ought be allowed to speak their piece towards the goal of peace."

Suzanne Somers Has Cure For Pancreatic Cancer

Suzanne Somers claims that Patrick Swayze could still be alive today if doctors had "built him up nutritionally and gotten rid of the toxins in his body" rather than using chemotherapy to treat his stage VI pancreatic cancer. Stage VI is an advanced stage of cancer where the cancer has spread to other organs or throughout the body.

Somers also claims that if Swayze had just exercised more with the ThighMaster Gold he would have avoided pancreatic cancer all together, as Somers and millions of other Thighmaster Gold users have. - CE

Fake Outrage Helpful for Fund-Raising Purposes

The Democratic Campaign Congressional Committee today expressed outrage over a Republican congressman calling the President a liar:



If 99.9% of the staff of the Democratic Campaign Congressional Committee hasn't called President Bush a liar in the past, then at least the sitting Senate majority leader has.