Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Man Experiences "Dark Night" Before Lunch

CINCINNATI, OH--Cheviot resident Tom Samuelson felt inexplicably grumpy upon waking yesterday - and immediately attributed it to the famous "dark night of the soul" as described by mystic St. John of the Cross and revealed in a new collection of Mother Teresa's letters.

Samuelson admitted he might be something of a "spiritual hypochondriac" but feels the Christian life should be full of joy, peace and love: "like what the '60s hippies felt, but without the drugs."

Samuelson's spiritual director was reluctant to comment other than to say that he doesn't have the heart to tell Samuelson the obvious: that the real "dark night" is something beyond grumpiness and that that lies ahead. Way ahead.

"It's like our Lord said in the Scriptures, 'some things you won't be able to bear now.' I don't think Tom would be able to bear that news now."

Samuelson isn't sure whether his dark nights are purgative or reparative. "It's all good," he said, "although I prefer to think of it as reparative. Delusions of grandeur keep me going!"

He said that after lunch yesterday he felt much better. "My dark night was over relatively quickly. I guess you could call it a 'dark morning of soul'."


William Luse said...

Did you notice the resemblance to Scott Peterson?

TS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pauli said...

I feel like I'm missing a small chunk of my scalp.