WASHINGTON D.C. --The organization Mothers Against Drunk Driving surprised many today by announcing that they are not against those who "drive better after a couple beers", saying they are for road safety.
"My grandfather definitely drove better after a beer or two," said Colleen Wilkerson of MADD.
Attempting to contradict MADD's image as simply a prohibitionist group, spokeswoman Charlotte Rogers admitted that some drivers do better after consuming alcohol.
"Honestly if it were up to me I'd say someone shouldn't be driving at all if they're driving better after a beer or two. But if there are those who do, either because they pay greater attention or because they are less uptight, then we have no problem with those people," Ms. Rogers said.
The sound of reporters' gasps were heard around the hall as she continued her statement: "We're actually interested in keeping auto crashes to a minimum, assuming we can maintain our fundraising quotas, and if alcohol can contribute to fewer crashes then, well, we'll drink to that!"
Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, surprised by MADD's announcement and the attendent publicity, said that if it could be proved that disbandment of their organizations would lead to better race relations then they would be happy to terminate their fundraising. When asked how such a thing could be proven, both smiled cheshire grins.