Via here.

MSM Discovers Inflammatory Rhetoric; Film at 11

NEW YORK, NY-- Two years after George Bush left office,  The New York Times and television news outfits have learned of the existence of heated rhetoric.

The internal guide book of the Times has been leaked to PiT , which includes controversial items such as:

• "Hate" only exists on the political right.
• Death threats only count if against Barack Obama or Democratic Congress members; Republicans deserve them.
• Anything Sarah Palin says incites violence, at least in our editors and reporters.

"It's almost quaint, isn't it?" said the former staffer.  "It's like a 3-year old discovering building blocks for the first time: 'Hey, look at this!' It's actually pretty funny."

A Bias Against Anti-Bias Programs

A study released yesterday shows scant evidence that corporate diversity training works:

"Now a few social scientists are taking a hard look at these programs, and, so far, what they’re finding is that there’s little evidence that diversity training works."

Other recent studies have shown that obese people are heavier than average, that food is necessary to human survival, and that academic studies prove that academic studies exist.

Obama: "This is What Change Looks Like."

Landmark Legislation Passed

WASHINGTON D.C. -- The U.S. Bankruptcy Act passed yesterday, assuring that the U.S. will go bankrupt by the year 2017.

"We feel this is a great day in American history," said one senator. "We've decided to leave our children and grandchildren crippling debt! Hooray!"

Solution to Entitlement Crisis Proposed

WASHINGTON D.C. -- Unsustainable entitlement programs like Medicare and Social Security take up an increasing portion of the U.S. budget, so President Obama and Democrat lawmakers this year have proposed a surprising solution: add another entitlement program.

"We feel that the best way to deal with spiraling Medicare costs is to provide health care for everybody," said an aide to one Democrat senator. "Economies of scale have worked out so well with Medicare that we should extend it to the entire populace. We're thinking of naming the new program Too Many Doctors since 40% of physicians say they would consider leaving the profession if the bill passes."

Obama the Lawyer Unconcerned with Rule of Law

"I don't spend a lot of time worrying about what the procedural rules are in the House or Senate," Obama said.

I really only care about whether my agenda is advanced.

The Selective Crusade Against the Death Penalty

[Inspired by this.]
"Ban the Death Penalty!" the billboards proclaim. Posted in dozens of locations in Atlanta's neighborhoods, they direct readers to a website condemning capital punishment.

But if they really wanted to save those on death row from death, the first problem they would focus on is electric chairs and lethal drugs. These are the instruments killing prisoners. Yet the sponsors of Ban the Death Penalty ads don't support control of the manufacture of electric chairs and lethal drugs. They oppose them and many even use illicit drugs themselves. In fact, finding drug lovers in the anti-death penalty movement is like finding pot at a hemp festival.

Two months ago, the Violence Policy Center issued an analysis of all death penalty cased based on the latest U.S. Justice Center data. In 100 percent of applied death penalties in which the fatal weapon can be identified, it's either an electric chair or a lethal drug cocktail.

If those who profess to care about capital punishment really did they would volunteer to take the place of the victim on "Ol' Sparky" and support the banning of lethal drugs and electric chairs.

Inspired by the Poem Tinkers to Evers to Chance

These are the commonest political words:

"Waste, Fraud and Abuse."

When there's nothing to cut, you can always cut these:

Waste, Fraud and Abuse.

From the street pol to dogcatcher to the POTUS himself

If you want to be popular bring these off the shelf

Though ev'ry new program for the national health

brings more "Waste, Fraud and Abuse."

Rangel Takes Vacation from Ways & Means

America's loveable tax cheat in charge of tax-writing, Rep. Charles S. Rangel, temporarily stepped down today from his chairmanship after multiple ethical investigations became too intense for the lifetime Congress member.

"Charlie thinks that 'Ways and Means' means where there's a way to gouge the taxpayer, he'll find the means to do it," said a fellow member of Congress.

The raffish chairman is the author of an autobiography called And I Haven't Had a Bad Day Since, referring in part to the many Caribbean trips at taxpayer expense the 40-year House veteran has taken.

Your Tiger Woods Update

...had oatmeal for breakfast and cut his lawn yesterday. Stay tuned for more important info on the Tiger front.

Orwell 1984 Redux

In George Orwell's 1984, citizens are accustomed to Doublethink (and blindly believe the three official Gov't slogans; WAR IS PEACE, FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, and IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.

Now, Al Gore cites the recent cold weather gripping the United States as proof of Global Warming. COLD IS WARM.

This is much better than Vice Chairman's van Ypersele's claim that errors in IPCC reports '... increase the credibility of the IPCC ...' INCREDIBLE IS CREDIBLE.

For how many more years of emitting CO2 without Global Warming are we going to have to endure this nonsense?  -CE